talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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