I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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