Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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