She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
