is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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