the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
