apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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