she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
