Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
