im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
