There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
