Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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