love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
