so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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