I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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