are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
