What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
