Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
