We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
