I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
