yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
