Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
