I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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