guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
