my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
