awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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