i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
