you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
as a side note pls kill me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
