what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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