there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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