I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
