Who wears a wallet chain?!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
