what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you will always have a special place in my vag
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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