i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
