ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
