I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
