So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
