weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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