I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
