Whod you bang
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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