Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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