I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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