He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
