Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
