a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
