Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
