I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
