I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
