do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i drank out of a bidet.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
