i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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