O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
